Kiffblog

August 15, 2012

Drunk

Filed under: Uncategorized — andykiff @ 8:01 am

1 Samuel 1:15 But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord.16 Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.”

Hannah was at the end of her tether.  She’d endured years of personal pain, compounded by taunting from her rival and lack of understanding from her husband.  When she came to You and prayed she let it all out and Eli the priest thought she was drunk, such was her behaviour and lack of inhibition.  She’d given up any pretence of keeping it together.  She’d dropped the veneer of respectability.  It was a desperate woman begging, pleading, distressed, incoherent, ignoring the social and religious norms to throw herself at the only one who understood and could help.  And You heard and answered.

I can get so caught up in appearances that even when I’m alone with You I try to act like I’m in control.  I don’t think anyone seeing me in private conversation with You would mistake prayer for drunkenness.  I need to learn from Hannah and drop the act, to relinquish control of myself before You and pour out my heart.

Lord break down the pride that builds up a wall between us.  I want to be completely, utterly, recklessly, drunkenly honest and open with You.

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